Eeeeeeeehh ( that was the sound when someone give the wrong answer in a game-show) Big massive frigging mistake.

Will a positive mindset help you get better results in life??? Yes of course. You don’t need to be an Einstein to figure that out. And you certainly don’t need to pay $10,000 to go to a seminar to be told that (yes some people really pay that to go to a positive mindset seminar). Look … if you couldn’t figure that out by yourself you are probably too dumb to succeed even WITH a great mindset.

Like ME for example – when I was 21 I got sucked into that world of positive thinking. Maaan was it great… all the money I was going to make. I was going to be surrounded by beautiful women throwing themselves at me. OMG it was a great future that was in front of me. And I FELT fantastic.

There was only a teeeeensy little problem… I DIDN’T HAPPEN. But luckily there was already another guru ready to tell me that the solution was near… “just buy my seminar, training, book or whatever and think even more positively or do it in a different way”. But to my surprise nothing still happened.

Somewhere along my way I must have bumbed into a guru that had a bit of sense in his/her head because I started to read about marketing and sales and that started to make a more positive impact.

BUT the really big breakthrough came when I got really NEGATIVE .. yes NEGATIVE about my life. It was only when I realized that my life really sucked that I turned it around.

Holding a mirror in front of me made me see that I was completely stuck in a very bad place and this gave me the motivation I needed to dare enter the scary domain outside of my comfort zone. Getting really negative was what propelled me to take massive different action and that’s what truly made a difference for me.

When you have enough negativity you WILL change. However if we tell ourselves everyday how great things are we don’t tend to take any different actions and without different action there can be no change.

Please do not misunderstand me… I have a huge respect for many motivational speakers. Hey I’m kinda motivational speaker myself… well on second thought I’m actually more like a “get-your-fingers-out-and-take-some-action” kinda speaker, but that phrase sounds a bit weird… even to me.

On the other hand, a lot of the success gurus keep people trapped in their own little “positive hell” where they don’t grow much. Sure they are really positive about it… I simply believe that it’s a hollow kind of happiness.

In fact I’ve proved this over and over and over again by asking the positive thinking addicts with a couple of questions. Here are an example of the questions I’ve asked them:

1) Do you have kids?
2) Do you want the best for your kids?
3) Have you been able to give them the education they deserve and that you want?

In 99% of the cases they will say no..and then the clincher: How do you feel about that?

Baaaaam!! Suddenly they are not so positive about their life any more. They will become fidgety and look a bit shocked while they try to explain to me how its all going to change next month. (Well I’m still waiting and it’s 9 years now)

Are you saying I’m mean for making them feel this way?? Ok so you think its better to keep them in their rosy world where they are going no-where, than presenting them with the realities? Well that’s your right to believe that.

But I think we all have a deep inner desire to be more and create more, to achieve, to be all we can be and to constantly change and grow. Hopping around in the fields telling ourselves everything is perfect is only going to create a fake surface-happiness that you constantly have to work on to maintain.

Real sense of happiness and fulfilment only comes from being all we can be and constantly growing. Growth is often painful and potentially dangerous at least to our subconscious mind. Because we know growth is not pleasant we tend to avoid it. I did myself for many years. I was positive about where I was until I couldn’t keep up the façade anymore and my true inner self came out and whacked me on the side of my head and shouted “WAKE UP YOU LAZY FOOL… YOU ARE ONLY TELLING YOURSELF EVERYTHING IS GREAT, BECAUSE YOU ARE PISSING YOUR PANTS WITH FEAR OF DOING WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO DO TO BECOME TRULY HAPPY”

So my advice to you is: If you are not moving pretty steadily towards your goals and can MEASURE it on a month to month basis, you are simply stuck. Don’t try to explain it or justify it… don’t tell yourself that you feel great about where you are and that everything will get better by itself because it WON’T.

Instead you need get real.. to get negative. If you think I sound like a negative person you are wrong. I’m actually very positive …in fact I probably believe more in you than you believe in yourself. But my experience tells me you won’t get anywhere by being blindly positive about everything.

I’m not completely sure where I’m going with this post… I guess I just had to get it off my chest. Seeing so many coaches,trainers and self proclaimed experts making tons of money giving BS advice that keeps people stuck and only temporarily euphoric makes me really angry. I think that’s only slightly better than selling drugs.

I also hope that my words will fall on a few pieces of fertile ground and get a few people to make a REAL shift. I know I’m probably going to have all the success-fairy-followers commenting angrily how wrong I am about this and how their positive thinking coach/guru have changed their life. I’m ok with that… so far I haven’t received any hateful comments from anyone that has achieved more than me or is more happy than me. So that should tell you a couple of things. 1) Either really successful people (that are NOT success trainers) agree with me or they don’t have the time or the inclination to write angry comments. Or … probably both.

So just click here and all your problems will be solved by the super wave-pattern positive thinking system ™ … I THINK NOT, my soul searching friend. Get real, get negative enough to push yourself outside of your comfort zone – that’s where REAL happiness and success lies.

Yours for bigger profits and more fun – Patrick M. Powers

PS: A huge thanks to one of the people in the success training field that has truly inspired me. His name is Larry Winget and In fact it was a picture on his facebook profile that inspired me to write this article. The picture said “To create positive change in your life, you must first get negative about your life”. Well said Larry… You are the real deal.

Based on the people that follow up with me after an networking events I would say that about 95% never follow up and of the 5 that do follow up 8 out of ten approach it the wrong way.

I must admit that I often forget to do it myself but networking is almost a complete waste of time if you don’t follow up. Why? Because networking rarely works after meeting people once. It is all about building trust and lets face it … you will rarely if ever really trust someone after meeting them just one time.

In most situations they won’t even remember you a few days after they have met you… that is unless you follow up.

But most misunderstand the purpose of the follow and of networking in general and many people avoid following up because they feel like they are being pushy. Well i’ve found that if it feels like you are pushing people… it’s probably because you are and you are not doing it the right way.

People always want me to give them a specific script for what to say when following up, but a script alone will not work very well. Only if you understand the real purpose and principles behind the words you will be able to produce your own effective scripts for following up.

So the purpose with the follow up is to:

1) Make you stand out so they remember you. If they don’t remember you, you WILL lose to the people they DO remember. You have to become part of their immediate memory.

2) Build trust in YOU as a person.( not just in your company)

3) Show them that you are a pro at what you do.

4) And of course, ultimately you want to get an order or even better… get them to refer leads and prospects to you or maybe even do a joint venture with them. Understand that this should never be attempted until you have done the first 3 steps.
Almost everyone tries to go directly to step number 4, but this one of the worst things you can do in networking. If you skip the first 3 steps they will lose trust in you. Why well because you will look like someone just trying to sell to them.

You probably really want the best for your contacts, but the point is that you will not appear that way. Perception is everything and being the best person in the world will not give you an order or a referral. The only thing that counts is how you are perceived… always remember that.

The first time you follow-up with someone you should simply focus on the first 2 purposes of the follow up:

1) Make them remember you
2) Create trust in YOU as a person.

Now that you understand the purpose of following up lets look at a few ways to do it.

Follow up strategy #1. Send them an old fashioned card, simply letting them know it was great to meet them and that you will think of them if you meet anyone that is looking for what they offer. Do not try to push your agenda at this point. In the beginning your purpose is to sell YOU and build the relationship.

Follow up strategy #2. Send them a short letter with the same content as in #1.

Follow up strategy #3. Send them a personal video mail. This has been one of my most effective tools. I use a service called www.eyejot.com. A free account will allow you to send videos of up to 1 minute in length and that is enough in most cases, but if you want to do videos of up to 5 minutes in length the upgraded accounts are really cheap.

I don’t recommend just sending them a regular e-mail. Well actually a normal email is still better than NOT following up, but it’s the weakest way to follow up. Email works better at a later stage when they know, like and trust you.

If you do these few simple things when following up you will separate yourself from the competition, get you noticed and develop the relationships that will eventually make networking extremely profitable.

For example here are 3 mistakes people make even before they have arrived at the networking event

Business networking pitfall 1) Going into the battle without a plan.

Most people arrive at a networking event with even the slightest plan of what they want to achieve and how they are going to do it.

If you were doing any other serious business activity, you would have a plan. Even if you were playing a serious sports game you would have a plan. Without a plan you are almost certain to lose the game.

These are 2 things you should include in your networking plan;
First of all you have to know exactly what you want to get our of the event. Are you looking for contacts in a specific field? Are you looking for JV partners? Are you looking for prospects and if yes what would be their specific profile. Or maybe you are looking for ideas, but whatever it is If you know what you are looking for you will have so much better chance of achieving it.

Second: Your plan have to include how you are going to stand out and be remembered.
If you are like everyone else at the event you wont be remembered.
REMEMBER: YOU MUST BE DIFFERENT

Business networking pitfall 2) Not doing any research on the participants or the organizers.

Every single time someone shows up to my events not even knowing that I’m the person running my events. It makes me wonder if they haven’t heard of the internet. It’s so easy to google/bing people to see who they are and what they do and the more you know about people the easier it is to connect with them. Also by saying a few things that shows you know something about them shows to them you are a pro.

Business networking pitfall 3) Arriving Late.
The most influential people will often show up early. That’s why YOU need to be there early for two important reasons. The first being that you will of course get a lot more out of creating relationship with the influencers and leaders of a particular group. These people will know more people than the average person and they will be the key to the rest of the group.

Second… When people arrive and see you talking and hanging out with the leaders you will be perceived to be on of the leaders. When people perceive you to be a leader they will start running after you instead of you having to chase them.

These are just a few things you can do to improve your batting average at networking events, and if you really want to become a “networking pro” go here to get my book turn your contacts into cash

As someone doing a lot of internet marketing I thought it was going to be impossible. It ended up being 10 days without internet and amazingly some of my 10 most productive for a long time.

The first day I was kind of anxious but the second day I found out I was being way more productive. It made me aware of behaviours that were not effective and I found out I was spending too much time on the internet doing stuff that I didn’t have to do. Some of the tasks I was doing in a way that was not effective or disrupted my productivity.

So based on my experience of being without internet and the changes I’ve made here are:
8.5 tips for being more productive when working at your desk.

1) Don’t download your email in the morning right away.

2) Don’t check your twitter or other social media accounts in the morning.

3) The first thing you should do for the day is to review your tasks for the day and start working on them.

4) Don’t have your email program open unless you are awaiting a super mega important mail. It seems like a small disturbance when you get the notification that there is an email, but its more than that. It disturbs your concentration and flow of thought and drains you of energy because there is always these small things that grab our focus away from what we should be doing. We have enough distraction as it is. Some of them we don’t have control over. This one you do. Try to limit the distractions that you can.

5) Have limited time set for reading email or read them when you need a break from your other tasks.

6) If you do social media stuff limit the time for those as well.

7) Don’t work on too many projects at the same time. Just like a computer will get overworked if its working on too many tasks at the same time, so does you personal computer(your brain)

Make sure you get up and move and do some exercise every 2 hours or even more often. This will increase your energy and break the monotony.

8.5) And maybe, just maybe, you should try switching off the internet for one day just once every six months or so. I almost guarantee you will become aware of behaviors that are not effective. You might also notice that some of the things you think you can’t be without is not that big of a deal.

I’ve actually increased my productivity by at least 50% AND I feel better about doing my work.
I’m way more energized and I think it’s because I don’t have all those distractions.

Good luck increasing your productivity.

Patrick Powers