There is a huge crime being perpetrated on people seeking more success and achievement. It’s the so-called success gurus promoting the idea that you have to be so positive about everything and then success will automatically come to you. And god forbid that you have a negative thought about anything in your life.
Eeeeeeeehh ( that was the sound when someone give the wrong answer in a game-show) Big massive frigging mistake.
Will a positive mindset help you get better results in life??? Yes of course. You don’t need to be an Einstein to figure that out. And you certainly don’t need to pay $10,000 to go to a seminar to be told that (yes some people really pay that to go to a positive mindset seminar). Look … if you couldn’t figure that out by yourself you are probably too dumb to succeed even WITH a great mindset.
Like ME for example – when I was 21 I got sucked into that world of positive thinking. Maaan was it great… all the money I was going to make. I was going to be surrounded by beautiful women throwing themselves at me. OMG it was a great future that was in front of me. And I FELT fantastic.
There was only a teeeeensy little problem… I DIDN’T HAPPEN. But luckily there was already another guru ready to tell me that the solution was near… “just buy my seminar, training, book or whatever and think even more positively or do it in a different way”. But to my surprise nothing still happened.
Somewhere along my way I must have bumbed into a guru that had a bit of sense in his/her head because I started to read about marketing and sales and that started to make a more positive impact.
BUT the really big breakthrough came when I got really NEGATIVE .. yes NEGATIVE about my life. It was only when I realized that my life really sucked that I turned it around.
Holding a mirror in front of me made me see that I was completely stuck in a very bad place and this gave me the motivation I needed to dare enter the scary domain outside of my comfort zone. Getting really negative was what propelled me to take massive different action and that’s what truly made a difference for me.
When you have enough negativity you WILL change. However if we tell ourselves everyday how great things are we don’t tend to take any different actions and without different action there can be no change.
Please do not misunderstand me… I have a huge respect for many motivational speakers. Hey I’m kinda motivational speaker myself… well on second thought I’m actually more like a “get-your-fingers-out-and-take-some-action” kinda speaker, but that phrase sounds a bit weird… even to me.
On the other hand, a lot of the success gurus keep people trapped in their own little “positive hell” where they don’t grow much. Sure they are really positive about it… I simply believe that it’s a hollow kind of happiness.
In fact I’ve proved this over and over and over again by asking the positive thinking addicts with a couple of questions. Here are an example of the questions I’ve asked them:
1) Do you have kids?
2) Do you want the best for your kids?
3) Have you been able to give them the education they deserve and that you want?
In 99% of the cases they will say no… and then the clincher: How do you feel about that?
Baaaaam!! Suddenly they are not so positive about their life any more. They will become fidgety and look a bit shocked while they try to explain to me how its all going to change next month. (Well I’m still waiting and it’s 9 years later now)
Are you saying I’m mean for making them feel this way?? Ok so you think its better to keep them in their rosy world where they are going no-where, than presenting them with the realities? Well that’s your right to believe that.
But I think we all have a deep inner desire to be more and create more, to achieve, to be all we can be and to constantly change and grow. Hopping around in the fields telling ourselves everything is perfect is only going to create a fake surface-happiness that you constantly have to work on to maintain.
Real sense of happiness and fulfilment only comes from being all we can be and constantly growing. Growth is often painful and potentially dangerous at least to our subconscious mind. Because we know growth is not pleasant we tend to avoid it. I did myself for many years.
I was positive about where I was until I couldn’t keep up the façade anymore and my true inner self came out and whacked me on the side of my head and shouted “WAKE UP YOU LAZY FOOL… YOU ARE ONLY TELLING YOURSELF EVERYTHING IS GREAT, BECAUSE YOU ARE PISSING YOUR PANTS WITH FEAR OF DOING WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO DO TO BECOME TRULY HAPPY”
So my advice to you is: If you are not moving pretty steadily towards your goals and can MEASURE it on a month to month basis, you are simply stuck. Don’t try to explain it or justify it… don’t tell yourself that you feel great about where you are and that everything will get better by itself because it WON’T.
Instead you need get real.. to get negative. If you think I sound like a negative person you are wrong. I’m actually very positive …in fact I probably believe more in you than you believe in yourself. But my experience tells me you won’t get anywhere by being blindly positive about everything.
I’m not completely sure where I’m going with this post… I guess I just had to get it off my chest. Seeing so many coaches, trainers and self proclaimed experts making tons of money giving BS advice that keeps people stuck and only temporarily euphoric makes me really angry. I think that’s only slightly better than selling drugs.
I also hope that my words will fall on a few pieces of fertile ground and get a few people to make a REAL shift. I know I’m probably going to have all the success-fairy-followers commenting angrily how wrong I am about this and how their positive thinking coach/guru have changed their life.
I’m ok with that… so far I haven’t received any hateful comments from anyone that has achieved more than me or is more happy than me. So that should tell you a couple of things. 1) Either really successful people (that are NOT success trainers) agree with me or they don’t have the time or the inclination to write angry comments. Or … probably both.
So just click here and all your problems will be solved by the super wave-pattern positive thinking system ™ … I THINK NOT, my soul searching friend.
Get real, get negative enough to push yourself outside of your comfort zone – that’s where REAL happiness and success lies.
Yours for bigger profits and more fun – Patrick M. Powers
PS: A huge thanks to one of the people in the success training field that has truly inspired me. His name is Larry Winget and In fact it was a picture on his facebook profile that inspired me to write this article. The picture said “To create positive change in your life, you must first get negative about your life”. Well said Larry… You are the real deal.